Chapter 17

Father Love

The importance of a father’s love is understood more than ever today as “We get pregnant” and Dad gets maternity leave.  Each parent makes a unique contribution to raising their children. There is a natural role, there are special gifts, that only a father can bring to his child.

Many would say that this is typecasting, that there are no real differences between what a dad and a mom have to offer.  Look at the issue of discipline.  Traditionalists would say this is primarily the role of the dad.  Likewise for supporting the family financially and keeping the house structurally sound.  The not-for-dad list includes such things as dusting the furniture and making ballet buns for their daughters.  But we all know that today there is great interchange between parents in their roles in child rearing. Most moms have jobs outside the home and some dads have been known to dust!

But even though parents often change traditional roles, in spite of the fact that each one can do most of what is traditionally expected of the other, there is a special love that can only come from a father.  Those of us who have been single moms understand this as no one else can.  We have sensed the need for pure masculinity in a role model for our sons and as a joy to our daughters.  We have sought out uncles and friends to provide this for our children.  We have appreciated male teachers and coaches who helped fill this need.  But it is never the same.

It is not necessary to attempt a complete list.  What is important is to understand that connections between parents and children arise from a very deep, instinctual place and that each gender has something special to share with the children.

We give all we can to our children.  If our role is that of a single parent, we attempt to provide everything our children need.  We try to be moms and dads all in one.  But in the connection between hearts, we can only give what we have.  A father’s love arises from a special place where only a guy can be.  All children, from time to time, need to reach there.

DAD

In my dreams
it was all perfect
only me
filled with care
and pride

No time for loss
or disappointment

Always time
for me.

AFFIRMATION

We live in a world filled with parent-love. The special bond between father and child is precious beyond belief. I will always appreciate that.

I will be everything I can for my children, reaching to the depths of my being to give them what they need.

The rewards of parenting are mine because I have given my heart and opened my deepest self to the children I love.

 

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“Father Love”
collectable poem card

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